Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Tummy Talk

My husband is talking to my belly.

I know what you're thinking...

Oh, how sweet! Isn't that adorable?

Well, yes, it should be sweet and adorable except that he is saying things like, "Okay little sac, there will be no crying between the hours of midnight and 10am, and we'll be good friends. You can cry on the inside."

Sick-O.

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Meanwhile, I have no pregnancy symptoms except for sore breasts. And apparently, my breasts think it unjust that I should be spared the nausea, cramping, and urgent need to pee, and so are trying to make up for the lack of all other symptoms by hurting like hell and growing at an alarming rate. I swear I can watch them grow in real time. I read somewhere that they are likely to grow three cup sizes during pregnancy. Dear god, I don't even know what size that would be?!?!

It's as if every ounce of pregnancy hormone inside of me is focusing all of its attention in this one area. I really wouldn't mind if it spread itself out a bit. A teeny bit of nausea, a smidgen of cramping, and the occasional dash to the bathroom would be better than dealing with these two giant balls of pain hanging off the front of me. Right, Nicole?

And there is another reason I wouldn't mind having a few more symptoms show up. I'd like some evidence that I am really pregnant. The sore breasts just aren't cutting it, as I know that can be a side effect of the progesterone suppositories. I'm actually hoping to feel sick. I'm longing for the odd craving of pickle- topped ice cream. I covet the need to pee.

I'm just not comfortable. I'm just not convinced. I feel like it's all a big sick joke, and the joke is on me.

Ultrasound is in 6 days. 6 LOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG days.

9 comments:

Nicole said...

Glad to have a sister in boobland. And to spread the love here's a name for you: Hootie McBoob.

Love,
Chesty LaRue

Nicole said...

Or, if you prefer, Busty St.Clair.
Just couldn't resist.

Bumble said...

Good luck for your scan in 6 days, hope the days fly by, and I also hope you get a good reassuring bout of the pukes before then (but only once, so you can feel better!). Aren't us IF's odd?

Sara said...

Good luck with the scan.

I am familiar with the giant balls of pain problem, and I'm not even pregnant yet. I do hope that your symptoms decide to head south soon.

Adrienne said...

This is not a joke. The hanging balls of fire are sign enough, trust me. And nausea is overrated.

Hopeful Mother said...

Yeah, it's amazing how different everyone's symptoms are.

I don't have the nausea either. Just intense HUNGER all the time. I seem to have all of the other symptoms except nausea... but I'm not gonna complain, cause once I do, I know the puking will begin.

And as long as the u/s keeps showing good stuff, that's enough for me. Most women don't even have an u/s until they are much further along than us, and everything works out fine. So that's the story I'm sticking to.

Best of luck with your u/s!

Sarah said...

wow, with three cup sizes i might actually start to need a bra! don't be jealous, just b/c they're tiny doesn't mean they don't still hurt A LOT.

Lut C. said...

I'm not feeling very confident either, but that's to be expected.

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like your niece may be right on the money - one smart cookie!! Good luck.