Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Some people can find a creative use for anything. When Martha Stewart looks at a potato, she doesn't just see a tuberous root or a high carb side dish. She sees decorative stamps for personalized gift cards and tags with a painterly quality reminiscent of impressionist art.

And have you ever wondered what to do with all that leftover dryer lint? Of course you have... haven't we all? Well, some guy with way too much time on his hands a rare artistic genius has found a way to turn it into a work of art.

And how many times have you asked yourself, Now what am I going to do with all these used needles? Tonight, as I look at my sharps container filled to the brim with used syringes and needles, I have to wonder, what would Martha do (WWMD)?

And so, I have compiled a list:

1. Scare the neighbor children by creating a snowman ala Hellraiser in your front yard.

2. Paste a picture of Ann Coulter/ Rush Limbaugh/ Bill O'Reilly onto some corkboard, mount it on the wall, and enjoy a friendly game of needle darts with your friends.

3. Why waste money on an expensive new meat injector?

4. Dump them all in to your purse and watch the fun and excitement as you try to get through airport security.

5. Fill them with cool-aid and market them to candy companies with the tagline of "a little like a push pop and a little like a juice box."

6. Take them back to the pharmacy and ask if you can get 5 cents a piece for recycling.

7. While on family vacation at the beach, scatter them all along the crowded shoreline. Watch the tourists go running while you enjoy miles of empty beach all to yourself.

8. Pull out the plungers, stick the open ends of the syringes onto your fingers, and be Edward Needlehands for Halloween (many thanks to Mr. Smartypants this idea).

Anyone want to add on?


Sara said...

How funny! I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I've actually do save mine, just in case I need them some day for some art project that I have yet to imagine (and I'm not even an artist). I love your ideas. Especially the beach. Hilarious!

Bumble said...

Ha ha, number 7 cracked me up! I was just whinging the other day about an over protective mother on the beach who INSISTED her 75 kids wear their shoes down to the water and back to their "camp" every time they moved. I could just imagine her face if she came across your stash scattered around! lordy lordy!!

Anonymous said...

*spit coffee on computer screen*

Move over Martha.


Nicole said...

Oh, good god, did I need that chuckle. Thanks for that. You are so darn funny!!! I really like the beach idea.

Aurelia said...

This is a good one! Especially the part about airport security. This has happened to a few people I know...

Anonymous said...

We heard about your weblogs through the "family grapevine" and hope you are okay with us reading along with your other supporters. You are such an extremely talented and incredible writer - there is no doubt that your sense of humor and ability to express your feelings about such a difficult topic will touch the lives of many other women going through similar experiences. Also, we realize that there is nothing to say to make you feel better about this situation, but what we can say is that WE LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH and will always be here for you. T & J

Melissa said...


Watson said...

LOVED # 2, am totally going to do that -- you almost make me look forward to getting my own stash.


What about stringing them together with popcorn and cranberries as a x-mas tree garland?

Susan said...

Yes, Watson, good one! I knew I could count on you to add on to the list.

Angi said...

That is just plain hillarious!! My beta is Tuesday (2/9) so anything I can find to make me laugh is great! Best of luck to you!

(aka Spangelina IVFC)