I know there are a lot of great dads out there, but mine is the best. Nyah nyah.
I'm afraid that in a previous post I gave the impression that he hasn't been 100% understanding and supportive through this whole infertility business (and, uh, everything else over the past 32 years... except maybe that time he didn't let me wear the Bon Jovi style ripped jeans out of the house... but I digress...)
Since infertility has made me this bitter woman, my first interpretation of EVERYTHING someone says to me re: infertility is negative. Some examples...
"Just relax."
You just relax, jerk.
"Have you tried oriental medicine?"
I could qi gong it til the cows come home, and it won't make my husband's sperm the right shape, asswipe.
"I had a friend, who had a friend, who was told she'd never get pregnant naturally... (insert the ending to the story you know about someone who ended up with 8 biological children...)"
Hmm, I'll mention that to my RE whose 35 years of research, training, and experience say that ain't gonna happen for us. But, thanks for rubbing it in.
But, I'm learning to flip the switch in my brain to the "but they mean well" translator...
"Just relax" really means take care of yourself during this difficult time.
"Have you tried oriental medicine?" really means I want to help, and this is all I know to offer.
The I- had -a- friend stories really mean I want this to happen for you so I'm trying to give you hope.
And, as for my dad, well there is no one who means well-er. When he said, "We wish you would tell us what is wrong", he did NOT mean "What the heck is wrong with you? We don't understand why you are so upset all the time." He meant, and I know this in core of my heart, "When you hurt, we hurt. We know how awful this is for you, because it is just that awful for us. We want to help. We are here if you want to talk."
My parents deserve some kind of award for simply dealing with me and all my drama, let alone loving and supporting me absolutely unconditionally.
I always thought I had the best parents ever, but this past year has proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Thanks, Mom and Dad. I love you.
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4 comments:
Hi there!
Thanks for stopping by my blog, and of course you can add me to your blogroll. May I do the same?
OMG, your Snoop Dog link was HI-larious!
"Tha Woman's Wizzle"?
I am so totally stealing that!
You're so lucky to have such a great dad.
This is a great post. Your translations of the comments I so often hear from well-meaning family and friends brought tears to my eyes. (seriously!)
Susan, thank you for sharing your blog. As someone who has been on the giving and receiving end of those "encouraging words", I can honestly say you have hit the nail right on the head with your translations. I wish I'd had your wisdom back when I needed it.
You are so loved.
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