Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Ovary-achieving

So, while my newly found blog friend, Watson, is dealing with her uncooperative, defiant ovaries, I am trying to manage some seriously stressed out over-achievers.

After 2 days of a relatively low dose of Follistim (225 units, for anyone who might know what this means), my estradiol level is a whopping three-hundred-and-sixty-eight. And, as nonchalant as the nurse forced herself to sound, I know what this means. My dear friend and IVF expert, Google, tells me this is not normal.

On some site, somewhere , they define a "fast responder" as someone whose E2 level has reached >300 by day 5.

Day 5, people.

What does that make me? The Dale Earnhardt (or some other more current racer person) of ovarian stimulation?

On the bright side, this is a marked improvement (or should I say depreciation) over last cycle's record-breaking nine-hundred-and-something on day 3. I tried Googling that, and couldn't find a single site that mentions E2 levels that high that early (I mean, seriously, what can't you find on Google? You can type in the keywords how to get an elephant drunk and get all kinds of useful links, for god's sake).

The very kind nurses try to convince me that "this is a good problem to have", but really, if it is a problem, how can it be good to have? A problem is a problem if you ask me.

I mean, c'mon ovaries (and pituitary gland and whichever of your other little friends might be involved in this), what are you trying to do, here? Haven't you ever heard of The Tortoise and the Hare? Slow down, will ya?

My ovaries remind me of the children who see me for counseling because they worry and stress and work so hard to do everything perfectly, to be the best, to be first. Their anxiety sabotages the very success for which they are striving. (Usually this is because of a pushy parent.... Oh great, so now it's my fault.)

At any rate, my ovaries, and their smartass friends, need to start employing some stress management techniques before they over- achieve us right into a cancelled cycle or OHSS. Maybe I'll put some Enya on my iPod and place the ear pieces over my abdomen (R on the right ovary, L on the left). Or maybe I'll just tell the well- meaning fertiles who tell me to 'just relax' to direct their comments to my mid- section.

4 comments:

Watson said...

Your girlie bits do sound a bit stressed out.

And by taking responsibility for the little brats' condition, you are preparing yourself for motherhood, a never ending period of self-recrimination.

But at least you get to play the martyr:

'Am I the only one around here capable of DOING ANYTHING?' [Insert dramatic sigh here for full effect.]

Maybe your ovaries should try yoga and/or meditation??

At any rate, GOOD LUCK and keep us posted :-)

Melissa said...

If you want, I'll share some of my understimulation if you share some of your hyperstimulation. Meet in the middle, isn't that what life's all about? :) Hope they calm down soon!

Anonymous said...

Hey Susan! Reva just introduced me to your blog! You have made me cry & laugh all at the same time! I hope that the ovaries (and all of their girl friends :)) calm down soon. I know what you mean by people telling you to relax! You are right...They mean well. But I have found that it's usually a stressed out person with lots of kids who is giving that advice! Much love, robyn

Tinker said...

It looks like we're in the same boat. I'm turning out to be one of those 'fast responders', but you'll still beat me in the footrace.