Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Elizabeth was wrong

There is one. One sac, one fetus, one wonderful little heartbeat.

I am relieved, mostly. The idea of twins was frightening, and three... well, three just scared the crap out of me. A very very small part of me is sad, though. I guess because I know that, if only just for a minute, they were there-- even if they were just empty sacs--and now they aren't there. I suppose it is normal that I feel some sense of grief and loss.

But, back to the relief. I'm relieved to know that The One is doing well, and its tiny little heartbeat is going strong. I'm relieved to know what I am in for. I can picture-- as much as is ever possible-- what life will be like with one. One crib. One carseat. One breast at a time.

So, I'm done with the RE and moving on to a regular OBGYN or midwife. Again with the mixture of relief and grief... On the one hand I am thrilled to know that I never have to go back there. On the other hand, there was an undercurrent of sadness as we said good-bye to everyone today. I feel like I'm being pushed out of my safe little self-contained special ed classroom with the one to four teacher to student ratio and thrown into the overcrowded regular ed classroom with all the average and advanced learners. Will I get the kind of attention I need? Will I be able to keep up? Will I fit in?

All in all, very very happy news today.

Oh, and my sister-in-law told Elizabeth that "SuSu is having ONE baby."

Her response?

"Well, when is the next one coming?"

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

YAY!! Great news!!!
It sounds like a bittersweet time for you now....with a lot of transitions at once. Just keep looking at that little peanut in the picture, growing more and more every day. (Or Uncle Ben, as we called Will....size of a grain of rice, get it?) :p Yes, we were weird.

~Sarah

Nicole said...

So glad that your singleton is doing well, and looking strong.

Sticky Bun said...

Congrats! So happy to hear about the strong heartbeat. I love Elizabeth's reaction, too. Very cute. :-)

Tinker said...

Whew! One, just like you hoped, is perfect.

Bumble said...

Yay Susan, so happy to hear about your strong little heartbeat. And I'm sorry about the other two. It's natural to be sad, you knew they were there for a little while. Got any pics of the little cutie yet?

Aurelia said...

One is good...we can work well with one, right?

And maybe Elizabeth will be right about the "next" one coming soon after this one?

Adrienne said...

Oh happy day! That is wonderful news. And congrats on today's graduation.

Sara said...

One healthy heartbeat is great! I can imagine the bittersweetness, but am very glad to hear that you're mostly relieved.

Elizabeth is adorable (and clearly has very strong opinions!)

Sarah said...

oh my gosh i am so relieved for you! MUCH better odds, as you know. your sadness makes sense too, but soon to be replaced with so much joy! wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!

Kate said...

Congrats on the bean! I completely understand the sadness though. It's hard to wrap your mind around the fact that the other two were there (even though that scared the shit out of you)--and now they are gone. I am sorry.

I am so thrilled about the strong little heartbeat. Yay. And even though you've graduated, you'll always remember what it was like to be on the other side. So you won't be a typical OB patient. You will have a much greater appreciation for finally being an OB patient.

Hopeful Mother said...

Wonderful news on your single bean. Saying a prayer for the other two who are now in heaven.

Let this little bean keep going strong!!!

Watson said...

YAY!

One is just a beautiful, perfect number in this case.

Congrats!!

Lut C. said...

One heartbeat, that's wonderful!

Carol said...

Well that is very good news! I can imagine you would have a little sadness about the others, but one healthy strong baby is excellent! congrats!

It is wierd to 'graduate' from the RE. It was bittersweet - to walk out of there for the last time. But it also felt very good. I was ready to be done with that place!

Anonymous said...

"Juaone" will be on the way....YAY!!!! I know it was sad to not see the others when you went it, but you will be SOOO blessed with one beautiful, healthy baby. Due date?

~April

Melissa said...

Congratulations, Susan. One beautiful baby! Yay, yay, yay!

JenderBender said...

I am so happy that there is one healthy little baby in there! :) You have so much to look forward to!! Congratulations!!! :)

Jen